The Internet: A Special Report - by Liam R
Yes, I know it’s the weekend and I never usually post anything fresh on a weekend but this time, I just had to. You see, the Internet is probably one of the things I talk most about here on Straw Donkeys because it can provide an enormous range of emotions, from revulsion to humour to love and to hate all within a few clicks of the mouse. And now that the ability to get on the Internet is easier than ever, any retard with a PC can get himself online and create a website or message board with which to do as he or she chooses. This in of itself provides some difficulties in that you get some websites and message boards which should have no right to exist, much like the one you are reading now but the reason I am writing this should make this point perfectly clear.
Now I know that a lot of things I’m going to say here may hurt and offend some people, but there needs to be a bit of background to this. Now I tend to inhabit a message board which is an offshoot of the quite brilliant Bad Psychics site, and I do some work around there as well transcribing video clips. Anyway, there’s a poster on there that I get on great with, so great with that we had a tendency to run entire threads off topic with our own little conversations. I can’t say why, but the only place we can talk is on the message board itself, so the Admins of the board decided to give us our own thread in an off-topic section of the board so we wouldn’t do it again, but also so others could come in and ramble about various shit they had going on. For two weeks it worked great, and then the shit hit the fan. You may have heard of what happened in this week’s Hit Parade, but if you are too lazy to read that, here’s what I said:
“I've had some time to sleep on it because I didn't want to have a kneejerk reaction to your petulant bout of attention whoring, but guess what? I'm still as fucking pissed off with your 'LOOK AT ME, IM AN ATTENTION WHORE' antics as I was last night. So let me tell you a little story....
The reason me and ****** got our own thread in the Lounge is because we were taking every thread off topic with our own personal ramblings. Now I (unlike you) didn't start my own thread in there because I knew that it would look like a cry for attention like you did, so the Mods decided that it would be much easier if they set one up themselves. You will note that ****** started mine and ******'s. And also, it wasn't exclusively ours as everyone (******,******,******) could come in and have a chat and keep it as off topic.
Now I know that you then went and cried to the mods that you wanted your own but they wouldn't give it to you. I don't know why, but it's probably because you have absolutely NOTHING to offer this place but your childish lololololols, so you went and started your own one and got BOTH deleted. So bra-fucking-vo to you Sir!
But the question is why? You have your own fucking forum, why not start it there? Are you threatened by the fact that there are actually more people on here that like me than you? Or is because that pathetic forum of yours (now with two less people) is pretty much sinking like the Titanic? Tell you what, you have tried to set up BP Lite and its not worked so I'll tell you how to fix it. Get a site behind it, get some writers, build a community. Not set it up and go crying to your ever dwindling membership that no-one ever posts on there.
So in short, you've pretty much ruined what was a great little thread due to the fact that you have some sort of misplaced jealousy towards the attention me and ****** were getting in there. So Lloyd, fuck you. I don't want to know you, I don't even care that you exist. Send a copy of this to all the admins, try and get me banned, I don't fucking care because I have a funny feeling that I'll be around here much longer than you will, you sad, pathetic attention whore.”
Now I may have come on a bit strong there, but nothing I say there is untrue. Anyway, Lloyd then went and closed his forum down because of what I said, but that’s not all of it, oh no sir. Instead, he went to the poster I get on with and rambled on and on and on about me, the deletions, and also how he was going to “tear my fucking head off” if he saw me. Well I waited, and waited, and waited until he groveled back to her to apologise but by then, the damage was done so I made my move. I told him straight up that if he EVER said anything about me behind my back again, I’d be the one who would be tearing HIS fucking head off. Here was his reply:
Strong stuff no? No I was going to send the little cunt on a wild goose chase all over London trying to find me, but then he made a classic mistake. You see, after deleting all the posts on his old forum, he re-opened it, and made it so you could post without a log in. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I should also mention that he’s trying to have an affair with another poster who used to post on the Bad Psychics board called Sue, who just happens to be married with kids. Well, I’ll let the following screenshots tell the story from here on out.
You know what would be clever, annoucning to the whole world that I love a married woman!
Ahhh, isn't he the fucking sweetheart! Even Sue's embarrassed!
Okay, that's an image the whole world DID NOT NEED
It was at this point I found that the forum had been re-opened with postings allowed to be made without registration. And well, now it gets childish...
Yes, what would Sue's husband say? What will Lloyd say when he finds out the woman of his dreams fancies someone else? Just who is the random passer by?
Don't worry, Sue's husband is on the case. And who called Lloyd an attention whore before? THE PLOT THICKENS!
Who let the dogs in? And what do they not want? And it seems that Lloyd's real girlfriend has gone mental at this disturbing turn of events! Will the madness end?
Which Dawn is the real one? Who can fix this mess? I know...
Famous Hollywood Actor Brian Denehy! Well thank Christ for that! Oh wait, Lloyd's pain isn't finished yet!
I think Lloyd just got rumbled!
Oh shit Lloyd, you tried to have your cake and eat it you greedy little boy!
Methinks 'dddd' (not me, oh noes) nailed it here!
So let this be a lesson to you all. Don't let your forum be unregistered, and DO NOT FUCKING PISS ME OFF!