The Top Ten Episodes Of The Real Ghostbusters... EVER - by Liam R
You can tell the unemployed layabout running this website, can't you? Whether it's the stealing of ideas from David Letterman or anyone else, I refuse to do anything and I mean anything original or requiring talent because if I had those qualities I'd have a job wouldn't I? As it is at the moment, I'll write when there's nothing on TV or if Slough Town's most recent fixture has been called off, and as luck would have it, we have both tonight. So until The Simpsons starts in forty-five minutes, and rpoving the fact that anyone can write shitty articles for their own personal fun-space, here we are.
The Real Ghostbusters for me was the shit. The movie upon which it's based has already passed in to the annals of motion picture history as one of the best, and to be honest, most original comedies of all time. With the GB phenomena running high, a cartoon series was commissioned and thus began two separate paths in my life, both inter-twined with each other: 1) a life-long obssession with the paranormal and 2) an obssession with eighties cartoons. It's the second point which I want to touch on. So bear with me and if I screw up, fuck you, these are my opinions not yours.
Nowadays cartoons are great. While Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh (two of my favourites - let the dork mail begin) are merely devices to sell toys and computer games, they both have great stort-telling, and in the latter's case, huge long story arcs which can carry on for three weeks or more. It makes the 45 epsiode Z warriors vs Freeza (sic) fight from Dragonball seem, well maybe a bit convoluted, but that's anime, not cartoons. Back to Pokemon, you have nice little stories aimed at kids, and these two may be the only one's aimed at kids. Spongebob is just too damn bizarre to be called anything; the new Batman of The Future is aimed at middle teens; Ren and Stimpy & Rocko's Modern Life were aimed at well, stoners on a comedown on Sunday morning. The Real Ghostbusters was a bit different to those.
Looking at it now through the eyes of a constantly knackered twenty three year old, there are a few one-liners which I never noticed before, subtle bits of character development which I couldn't remember, bits that make it well worth watching again. Also before all the children of the eightes moan: 'What about Transformers?' - well Transformers isn't on TV at the moment except for that whole Armada thing (and don't get me started on THAT!) and when I earn enough to review that, then I will. Plus I can only remember a handful of Transformers eps, and I can remember more Ghostbuster eps. Transformers is good, but for me, Ghostbusters was better.
Also this list has only episodes from Season One and Two because it went seriously downhill after the second season for one reason:
* They replaced Arsenio Hall (who voiced Winston Zeddemore - admittedly after the wretched Series 3) and Lorenzo Music (who voiced Peter Venkman)
Now this was just heresy for me, even at age eleven, as it completely screwed up the chemistry and even the perception of the characters. Now getting rid of Music who had played Venkman as a slight slacker and replacing him with someone who put sarcasm on absolutely everything he said fucked the whole thing up. Whereas before Venkman had been cool, relatable and obviously the central character (and still was), the new voice turned the Venkman character into someone who was just trying to be a leader rather than being one, as well as turning him into a pompous asshole.
I know that's exactly what Venkman was, but he was also in a holding pattern at Columbia in the movie. And I do I know it's only a cartoon, but all great cartoons need one central character: Ash in Pokémon, Yugi in Yugioh, Homer in The Simpsons but now Venkman just wasn't cool anymore. Sure you could sell it as the four of them but it was eerily reminiscent of when they change a major character in a soap and the fanbase screams for the original to come back (Home & Away was notorious for having three different actresses play Pippa but no-one cares about that any more) but in a cartoon you can get away with it and think the eight year old audience won't pick up on it. Fools.
Also, another fun tidbit I picked up on when re-re-researching this article involves the answer to the trivia question I'll pose near the end of the article. It seems that the writer in question was told to dumb down the violent and scary nature of the cartoon and make it more kid friendly. Now having seen the ghost from 'The Collect Call Of Cthulu' I can understand where the network was coming from but anyways, said writer went away and did something else. Actually a lot more 'else' but that's another article which I can't be arsed to write at the moment.
Now, without further ado may I present my Top Ten Real Ghostbusters Episodes:
10. The Man Who Never Reached Home - the first entry on the list, and just a fun little epsiode. 100 years ago a man left a party early to get home but was killed in a storm. Now his ghost haunts the roads, along with a mysterious rider who seems intent on chasing him down. Admittedly, the twist you can see coming a mile off, but still, twas fun.
9. Night Game - Strange things start happening at a baseball game (and no, it's not excitement) and Winston decides to investigate ON HIS OWN! Big mistake obviously, and he get drawn into game between Good and Evil and Evil can cheat to win, but just whose soul are the two sides playing for? I put this one here just because the umpire in the game is so fucking cool.
8. Ghost Fight At The O.K. Corral - some ne-er-do-wells (possibly from Texas) want to turn Tombstone into an amusement park. The Earps and Doc Holliday disagree and so someone better call the Ghostbusters. Cool visual: the ghosts firing spectral bullets from their fingers.
Believe me, it is a whole lot cooler than that picture makes it
7. Last Train To Oblivion - the ghost of Casey Jones returns to haunt Grand Central station but ends up kidnapping Peter Venkman and putting the train on a collision with the 20:35 from Philadelphia. Why I chose this one: the only phrase Casey utters is (in deep menacing voice) "MORE COAL" - too funny.
6. When Halloween Was Forever - Samhain gets released and hatches the ultimate plan: by making Halloween last forever, all the teeth of all the children will fall out through excessive intakes of sugar (Diabetes runs wild) therefore making Samhain the supernatural Hulk Hogan - they are both Orange Goblins after all. On a somewhat related point, making Halloween last forever spells doom to the world. Fact: Samhain is the coolest villain ever.
5. Bustman's Holiday - Ray finds out he's inheirited a castle in Scotland, and through bizarre logic it turns out that he must capture the resident 'wee ghostie' (the script not me) to receive the manor. Except that capturing said ghostie unleashes a few more ghosts. A few thousand in fact. A few thousand ghosts who apparently will swarm down to the village and KILL EVERYONE. Cool Visual: thousands of skeletal soldiers rising out of the Scottish moors who then start fighting. Too cool. I've recently had the chance to re-watch this one and it should be higher but the ending is really quite silly even for a series aimed at kids.
4. Mr Sandman, Dream Me A Dream - when The Sandman starts making everyone's dreams come true and the Ghostbusters object, the Sandman gets royally pissed off, goes INSANE and starts turning them into nightmares. Who will save the day and why is the Easter Bunny that ugly? The Sandman is not as cool as Samhain because The Sandman threw a proper girly fit. And that's the bottom line...
3. Killawatt - electrical demon Killawatt comes to New York and starts causing some major aggro. Cue killer drills! Killer ovens! Killer electrical appliances a go go! When he gets penned back to the power plant, Killawatt possesses the electrical generators to create perhaps the most bad-ass monster in the history of bad-ass monsters.
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Okay so there were two contenders to best episode ever, and if I'm honest picking the top ten was easy and sorting them from ten to two was easy, but the hardest was picking which of the next two episodes was the best. Also these two episodes have one very important thing in common, and I'll let you mull it over before I reveal the factoid. Admittedly, it's not amazing or anything, just a 'well I never' sort of thing.
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2. Ragnarok And Roll - oh the choice, but this is at number two for a very good reason. Anyways Jeremy is your usual villian: he's so pissed off at the world because his fianceé dumped him because she wasn't ready for marriage that he formulates the ultimate plan: he plans to go into league with a demon to blow up the planet. And it almost works, with some cool visuals (like New York getting assaulted by five hundred feet tidal waves). Also Jeremy has some cool minions working for him. Get this: FLYING KILLER BAT MONKEY DEMONS! And the other thing Jeremy has is an ugly car-wreck of a companion called DiTillio. Oh and Jeremy is completely invincible. Admittedly the ending is hella weak, and there is one blantant use of poor editing: when the Ghostbusters are attacked by the FLYING KILLER BAT MONKEY DEMONS! Ray says "It's another one of those bat things!" Another? According to my episode that's the first time they appeared. So no this won't be best episode ever. Still a great fucking twenty minutes.
I couldn't find a decent picture of the 'menacing mirror eyes'
1. Knock, Knock - I know that this episode was the pilot, but this is such a great episode filled with so many little jokes and set-pieces all crammed into a twenty minute cartoon. Even if this one ran to forty five minutes or an hour it would probably be the greatest thing ever. But now we're going back to reality, and so what happens in this gem of an episode? First off the bat, some workers on the subway discover a door which talks and tells them "DO NOT OPEN TILL DOOMSDAY" so naturally being New Yorkers they try and open it, and all hell literally breaks loose. And then it gets better. Tube trains turn into killer worms! Skeletons enslave humans to row for eternity! Graffiti comes to life! The ending is actually a little simplistic, but it's the previous 18 minutes which make up it an all-time classic.
PS The answer to the question I posed above, is that both 'Ragnarok And Roll' and 'Knock Knock' were written by J. Michael Straczynski who would go on to create Babylon 5. So there.