Dr. Pope vs Gordon Brown
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. A week on from the official resignation of Tony Blair as Prime Minister, the Parliamentary Labour Party have once again shown complete disdain for democracy, even within their own party, by virtually one and all lining up behind Gordon Brown to nominate him as their next Leader. Whatever happened to the notion of One Member One Vote eh? The grass roots of the Labour movement may want Brown as their leader but they certainly aren’t having the opportunity to say as much. And the simple fact is the man is probably the biggest cunt in the entire world at the moment. He was reported earlier this week to be giving ‘moral support’ to the grandparents of missing 4 year old Madeleine McCann – where the fuck is the moral bit of using the abduction and probable murder/rape/abuse of a child as part of your campaign to win a leadership contest? Stick your prudence up your ugly Scottish rectum you dogfucker.
Gordon Brown contracts AIDS to get another vote
Fucking Americans. They just don’t have a sense of humour do they. A month after deranged Korean Seung-Hui Cho killed 32 people at Virginia Tech University , some nerdy computer geek in Australia has come under fire for developing V-Tech Rampage, a homemade video game allows players to take on the role of Cho and off his classmates. Ryan Lambourn has offered to take down the game if he is given enough financial incentive to do so and this has been the main issue in the States. So the yanks have an issue with profiting from disasters do they? So no students from V-Tech have sold their stories to news agencies then? Nobody made a shit load of money clearing out the body parts of post-Katrina New Orleans ? Not a dollar of profit has been made from the war in Iraq ? When America starts to show a drop of sensitivity to the rest of the world the feeling may be reciprocated. I watched United 93 the other night. Decent film but I did laugh at the end.
How to kill your classmates in 2D
And while we’re on the subject of America , I nearly boarded an American Airlines flight to Los Angeles this week with a large amount of semtex in my Vans when I read that Hollywood plans to re-make The Long Good Friday, with the guy who directed Resident Evil at the helm. Who the fuck do they think they are? You have the quintessential British gangster film where Bob Hoskins gets taken out by the IRA and some crackpot in one of the big studios decides they are going to bastardise it, probably by getting Queen Latifah to have a ruck with Matt Damon in the Bronx . What a fucking disgrace. It was bad enough they reworked The Wicker Man but this is molesting the crown jewels of British cinema. At times like this I suddenly feel proud of Ozzy Osbourne for pissing all over the Alamo . Fuck it, I think I’m going to join Hizb ul-Tahrir and learn how to kill the infidels.
Which of you pricks decided to remake this film?
Back to domestic issues and this week Chris Tarrant found himself having to ‘phone a friend’ from Nottingham Police Station after he was arrested on suspicion of assault. Tarrant apparently was tucking into a curry in an Indian restaurant and was having ‘banter’ with a nearby table that ended up with the spacker throwing cutlery in jest. Funnily enough Tarrant the only time I’ve seen people volunteer to have knives thrown at them is at the circus. With reports in the news this week that most Indian men choose to ride bareback as they find condoms are too big for them I can’t help but imagine Tarrant making some crass comment about a Sikh Sack causing the altercation. It remains one of life’s great mysteries that a question has not been asked on Millionaire about how much of a twat Chris Tarrant is. You’d just have to ask the audience wouldn’t you.
Yes Mr Tarrant, very funny
The title of retarded do-gooding hippy liberal group of the week must go to the Centre for Crime and Justice Studies who this week published a report recommending that the age of criminal responsibility be raised from 10 to 18, essentially giving all children a free reign to rape, burgle, mug, stab and kill as much as they want, because the little darlings are not old enough to know better. Adding her pathetic musings to the debate was Rebecca Palmer from the Greater London Authority who said ‘The negative perception of young people as 'hoodie-wearing yobs' should be concertedly challenged’. I’m sure all victims of crime in London share this view, particularly when teenagers are getting stabbed to death and shot every single day. If you want to challenge it Palmer, why not adopt a dozen or so of these lawless cunts and take them into your no doubt leafy suburban home. What was that? They don’t take kindly to that sort in Hampstead? I though that Cameron’s hug-a-hoodie idea must have been the work of his monged child, but these latest ideas show just how out of touch the liberals are in this country. And worse still lawyers are already buying into this laissez-faire approach to dealing with youth crime. A solicitor in a teen rape case this week suggest that a girl who was on the wrong end of a gang bang in Bromley was so fat that she would have been ‘glad of the attention.’ This is your country Gordon Brown. Show us you have some bollocks to actually do something about it.
Brown, prove to us you are not just another nonce