The Hit Parade Volume Four Issue Thirteen by Liam R and Claire The Karma Whore
When you think of Dave Grohl, do you think of him as the lead singer with the Foo Fighters or Nirvana's former drummer? I ask this namely because it kind of leads in to the rest of this introduction, but when Kurt Cobain shot himself, he not only placed himself in rock history but the legend of his band grew seemingly exponentially until Dave formed the Foo Fighters. Now many people could have crumbled under that sort of legacy but what Nirvana did was, looking back anyway, was a flash in the pan reaction to the hair metal of the 80s, and Cobain's suicide in turn gave KoRn the opportunity to ram nu-metal down our throats. However, at this point in time, Grohl has finally left that part of his past behind him and is forging his own legacy with his new band… which in a round-a-bout sort of way leads me to The Clash. Now they will never be seen as the forefathers of punk (The Ramones, New York Dolls and the Sex Pistols can all probably claim that title) but much like Nirvana, The Clash's legacy was increased in importance since their messy, prolonged break-up in 1986 and it says something that the scored their very first number one single some five years after they had split. But on the 15th November 2002 , Mick Jones joined Joe Strummer on stage for the first time in 1999 and there were small rumours that they were going to reform, but Strummer's untimely death six weeks later put paid to that. But even now, The Clash are finally starting to get the recognition as one of the most influential bands this country has ever produced, rubbing shoulders with The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin. You can hear The Clash in everyone from early U2 through to the Manic Street Preachers via The Pogues, The Libertines and every ska punk band you've ever heard of. I have to admit that outside of the big, memorable numbers my knowledge of all things Clash was limited until I snagged a copy of 'Train In Vain' on a compilation CD but now, I am determined to hoover up every album I can. I suppose what I'm saying is appreciate the greatness in what you see now, because there's a good chance that all the good bands will split up. Then again, the truly great ones always break up.
The Eastern European Song Contest: Well a little song contest which has always been derided as a massive cheese fest has made headlines yet again. This year's Eurovision contained three massively insane entries courtesy of Spain , Bosnia & Herzogovina and Lativa (I mean, fucking Pirates???), one complete head scratcher (complete with serious camera directing issues) from France and one song which if released could grace the Top Ten and not make me want to kill myself from Greece . However, Greece came second and most of the high spots were filled with former Eastern Bloc countries, leading Sir Terry Wogan to complain bitterly that it wasn't a song contest but simply a political tool. This is indeed true as the Russian entry which did snag the contest was awful compared to Greece and even the British entry which finished… dead last again. So is it time to pull the plug on these Eastern European countries? Absolutely but just how you do that remains to be seen.
From The Please Let It Happen Department: Time it seems has not been kind to Britney Spears, from the head shaving to lunatic sieges to the drugs to divorce hearings to custody hearings to even more drugs. Still, all that must be nothing compared to what happened this week when Johnny Rotten of all people has revealed that he is considering writing a song for her. Yes, you read that right: the ultimate punk icon (though not from the iconic punk band in this writer's opinion) is considering writing a song for the very system his band was supposed to be opposing. Still it's amazing what a bucketful of cash and 30 years of nostalgia can do to your brain isn't it?
Because I'm Short On Stories: And perhaps even worse is that I have to talk about the child porn trial of R Kelly. As some of you may be aware, R Kelly is currently on trial after a video was found apparently of him performing sex acts with a girl who could be any age between 13 and 15. Both Kelly and the girl in question have both denied that they are actually the people in the video, but the latest news on this whole sordid affair is that Kelly's defence team were phoned on Wednesday morning by someone who will appear for the defence. Wait, that didn't make any fucking sense. Still, the trial is currently on a one day hiatus, so stay tuned for the next exciting instalment.
The Karma Whore Corner: Nine days ago, a little girl called Khyra Ishaq died from starvation. Not in a third world country, or some war torn continent, but in Birmingham . In a country where most of the population throw tons of food out a year, a little girl wasn't given any. Khyra was removed from school ten weeks ago, and had barely been seen since. Why was she removed from school? That isn't clear, but what does seem crystal clear to me is that the authorities that are meant to keep an eye on such things, namely social services, teachers and possibly even the local council, did absolutely nothing. They didn't question the why's or where's they didn't do a bloody thing. But why not? If my son has a day off school and I don't inform them, you can guarantee that by lunchtime I have received a call from the school asking why he is absent. If he isn't being himself, a relative or his father will ask me if he is ok. Am I one of the lucky ones? Is the support system I have in place more than most have? Has the family system in this country broken down so badly that relatives don't realise that a little girl is being starved to death? Are the teachers and social workers so bad at their jobs they can miss something like this completely? Or do they no longer care? Has Britain's society broken down so much, that a little girl can disappear of the face of the earth and no one notice until she is dead??? I can't rant about this, I can only ask these questions because no matter how hard I try, I cannot get my head around this. This poor child wasn't with strangers, she was with her mother, the one person in the world a child looks to for care and love. Now I don't deserve any medals for my parenting, I struggle, as do a lot of people. But as my sister pointed out to me once, it doesn't take much, a few cuddles, clean clothes and keep them fed. Those are the basics, and they're not hard to do. In fact, I would imagine that if you're a normal, decent human being, those things are a lot easier to do than watch a child starve to death. I pray someone is going to be held responsible for this. And were not subjected to endless, costly inquiries that serve no damned purpose. And I hope that I never have to read that this has happened again.
Quick And Dirty Hits: Kanye West, Method Man, Redman and Common have been sued over illegal use of samples from the same song. I think they can afford it… Pal McCartney has been awarded an honorary Doctor Of Music thingy by Yale University … Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam and the Flaming Lips are among bands taking part in a The Who tribute. Wait, that sentence just sounds wrong… Radiohead bassist Colin Greenwood apparently suffered from hearing loss during the recording of the band's latest album… Ashlee Simpson is indeed having the Transsexual Lady Boy's child. Fuck this shit…
Claire takes the charts again, saving me the impending nightmare of loading Napster.
10. Coldplay: Violet Hill (Polydor) - I never imagined I would hail Coldplay as the saviour of the top ten but if it wasn't for this little gem of a song (and one other), I'd be tempted to start buying Des O'Connor records.
9. September: Cry for you (Hard2Beat) - Brought by chavs, therefore making them solely responsible, time to gas the fuckers methinks............
8. Usher feat. Young Jeezy: Love in this club (Laface) - The more I hear it, the more I loathe it. I want it to go away and implode up its own arse.
7. Duffy: Warwick Avenue(A&M) - The second and last little gem in this weeks crown of shite that is the top ten. Didn't like Mercy too much but this, this is a special little song, and I loves it more than cake.
6. Wiley: Wearing my Rolex (Asylum) - Anyone who wears a Rolex, in my very humble opinion, is probably a bit of an arse. And this is shite, so it makes sense.........
5. Sam Sparro: Black and Gold (Island) - Who is he? Why is he singing? Why won't this song go away? I swear it's a conspiracy to just keep heaping the shit in my general direction.
4. Will I Am feat. Cheryl Cole: Heartbreaker (Interscope) - Still shite, like Cheryl's hubby, still not No.1 like Cheryl's hubby.... Give it time, and it will bring you out in a nasty rash... like Cheryl's hubby.......
3. Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake: 4 Minutes (Warner Bros) - Still like this, it makes me jiggle about a bit, which is about as near as I get to dancing. The underwear is still giving me the heebie jeebies though.
2. The Ting Tings: That's not my name (Columbia) - Hasn't grown on me, still don't like it but as I am a woman, I may change my mind.......
1. Rhianna: Take A Bow (Def Jam) - Not getting this at all, its so fucking bland, she is capable of so much more than this. I had a genius idea the other day in Boots... Rhianna feat. Linkin Park.... it COULD work!
