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Ever look at programs like X-Factor and Pop Idol and think: "I can do that, and I can do it with a lot more taste, style, diversity and originality?" Well if you're reading this it means that you can't and never will. You have no discernible talents because if you did, you'd be fucking Simon Cowell up the arse while singing 'Mandy' in the hope of a single which placed at number 39 in the charts.
Well I bet that your thanking Jesus Christ or whichever false idol you worship that Liam R and the Straw Donkeys crew is not here to tell you what to think. Unlike the NME, I can honestly say my nose won't be so far up the latest 'hot new thing' that I can smell their breakfast.
What you will get are some of the most truly, godawfully bad reviews and features ever conceived upon the Interwebnets (from Liam, obviously) as well as some truly thought provoking one's (from Joey, naturally). So sit back, kick off your shoes, pour yourself a glass of wine and enjoy the savagery.
Oh, and buy some Pogue's stuff!
Oh and for a look at our Reading 2005 coverage, CLICK THIS TEXT THAT IS BLUE |
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As easy as it is to bash My Chemical Romance for being cack, I actually defend them this week. Quick, write that down [click here] |
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I am unable to think of a witty teaser, so I'll just say emo sucks donkey balls again [click here] |
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Emo - why don't you die? [click here] |
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If you don't like barely contained digs about emo bands, don't read this. Everyone else? Go right ahead [click here] |
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I really fucking hate all emo bands except Jimmy Eat World. And so it seems does Slash [click here] |
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The next batch of inductees into our Album Hall Of Fame [click here] |
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Guess who's back [click here] |
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Happy Birthday to us! And we have Mick Jagger, Linda Perry, some gym rats, some scantily clad ladies and Transformers to celebrate [click here] |
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My impending trip to the dentist means a very crappy (and short) column this week [click here] |
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The Brit Awards, a one legged gold digger and the ho train walk into a bar [click here] |
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Too many tits to mention [click here] |
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Who picked Da Gints to win da Superbowl? The same man who won £72 on the game! And some music news too [click here] |
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Claire takes over the Hit Parade, and tears everyone a new bum hole [click here] |
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Mark it down somewhere: Claire gets angrier than Liam shock [click here] |
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I take on the brown, Claire schools Westlife, and possibly the world's tiniest thong [click here] |
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Liam may be losing it completely [click here] |
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Half-assing it all the way [click here] |
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The final day of Reading, not as biblical as it sounds [click here] |
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There are ladies all over this thing, in both good, bad and hilarious ways [click here] |
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Less Ben Affleck, more cowbell. Reading Festival part two [click here] |
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James Blunt, an awful Top Ten and a big fuck you to record labels everywhere [click here] |
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Part One of the Ben Affleck love fest that is the Reading Festival, provided by my good self and my glamourous assistant Claire [click here] |
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A whole lot of something [click here] |
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Awards and meditation. Yeah, fucking meditation [click here] |
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Chavs fight, Liam curses people, tee-totalism, WAGs and other assorted crap [click here] |
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Transformers, Britney has the clap and New Order fight for your souls [click here] |
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Smoking, flooding, Harry Potter and Coldplay go SAMBA! [click here] |
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Prince and the lolcats [click here] |
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I don't think I want to write anything funny here [click here] |
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So much stuff that not even the teaser can contain it [click here] |
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Assploding PCs, Eminem gets done, Marilyn gets bitchy and I attempt to look intense or something [click here] |
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More dancing, dead Smurfs, the usual [click here] |
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Death to Streisand, Life On Mars, other assorted crap [click here] |
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Chavs rule, rappers get in trouble, The Streets get... somethinged [click here] |
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The Karma Whore has carpet burns, Liam uses the word 'cunt' more than is healthy. Plus all the regular goodness [click here] |
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Internet perverts beware: Part Two [click here] |
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Internet perverts beware [click here] |
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The Killers vs Kaiser Chiefs in a second album showdown. WHO WILL SURVIVE???? [click here] |
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Warning: Liam is topless and in shorts inside [click here] |
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The Karma Whore rants, Angry Liam returns, Slough get relegated [click here] |
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The Hit Parade gives itself over to the fairer sex. With an extremely welcome return of our best writer [click here] |
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Heh heh. Number Sixty Nine [click here] |
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Britney, even more reforming bands, odd pictures, you name it, it's in here [click here] |
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