Mmmm sporty goodness- by Liam R
I’ve been meaning to write something for this oft neglected part of the site for quite a while but as my workload has increased exponentially and all you people don’t seem to want to help me by writing stuff for me, then you’ll have to live with the fact that you get what you’re given. So with that in mind, away we go!
The Captain bows out
He was drafted by Detroit in 1983, made the Captain in 1987 and lead a team which had missed the playoffs twelve out of thirteen years before his arrival back to the hallowed land amongst the NHL’s elite and three Stanley Cup wins in 1997, 1998 and 2002. So it was a sad day this past Monday when Steve Yzerman confirmed what many feared was coming and retired, leaving the league sixth on the all-time points list. Perhaps the most amazing thing about The Captain is that he stuck around in Detroit for all twenty two years of his career and was skipper of the side for nearly all of that. Think about other sports where players leave every few years and loyalty means nothing when a new improved contract gets offered, and Yzerman’s loyalty to the team is something that every sportsman could learn a thing about. I’ll leave the last word to former team-mate Luc Robitaille: "Some nights you'd see him try to climb up the stairs to get on an airplane and wonder, 'How can he be ready for a game in 24 hours?’ But that's part of the package you see every day when you are around Steve Yzerman. I always thought I knew how much it took to win a Stanley Cup, but I didn't really get it until I sat in that locker room and on that bench and watched Steve.”
Thanks for everything Captain
The World Cup is OVAH!
Well in this country it is as England went out not so much with a bang but a whimper having managed a whopping 105 minutes of decent football out of the 480 minutes they were there for. Of course there were players who came out of the competition with their reputations enhanced, not least of which was Owen Hargreaves who finally showed all the doubters (i.e. everyone in the country) that he is a good player who deserved his place in the squad with a man of the match performance against Portugal. That said performance was the only great performance by an English player, and also by a player who was born in Canada and plays in Germany should tell you all you need to know about how badly everyone else did. Well not John Terry, Rio Ferdinand (both of whom were awesome), Ashley Cole (yeah I hate his guts but he did more defending in the game against Ecuador than he has done in his entire career), Joe Cole (well in patches he looked like a world-beater and scored a belter against Sweden) and Aaron Lennon (no end product admittedly, but he left shit stains on every fullback’s underpants he faced when he came on) but there were a few over players who just weren’t good enough.
Don't cry Owen, you were the only one who actually GAVE A SHIT
The competition did prove a few things though, like how Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard can’t play together in the same team as they are constantly thinking about what the other is doing than on their own game. Lampard in particular had a horrid tournament where like me he had a crack at everything (in my case women) but was so far off the mark he may as well not have bothered. Yeah, I just compared Frank Lampard’s footballing ability to my inability to score with the ladies and you liked it. The tictacs were all over the shop as Sven Goran Eriksson refused to let the team go out and play like a proper English team – blood and thunder all-out attack – and turned them into impotent, defence-defence-defence minded shell. Look Sven, it’s a fucking knock-out tournament, you have to take a few risks because this isn’t Serie A. As for the squad selection, the decision to bring one unfit striker (Michael Owen), one lunatic (Wayne Rooney – more on him in a moment), one kid (Theo ‘Never Played in The Premiership’ Walcott) and the god-like genius that is Peter Crouch worked about as well as it could of. No wonder Darren Bent booked a holiday as soon as the squad was announced, I mean if you’re the leading English scorer in the Premier League and don’t get picked for your country I’d be pissed off too. Where were Jermaine Defoe, Dean Ashton, James Beattie or Andy Johnson? You know players with goal scoring pedigrees who weren’t injured? ‘Nah I’ll take the kid instead, what do I care I got paid £25million for this shit and I’m leaving once we’re out’ Sven might have thought. Make that definitely thought.
The Rooney Effect
Well hands up who didn’t see this coming? What a bunch of fucking liars you are, but rather than go on a stream of consciousness which will meander about aimlessly let’s pick this apart one piece at a time. Was Rooney fouled in the build up? Quite probably yes, and if he was foreign or Michael Owen he would have gone down like he’d been shot and the Portuguese player would more than likely got a booking. Hell, Rooney himself has dived for a penalty before against The Arse but at least that looked in real time from the ref’s view a penalty. But Rooney isn’t like that, as our most footballers in this country as they’d prefer to have their legs chopped in half before going down. Was the stamp a red card? Again, it will all hinge on the referee’s interpretation and we will never find out what that would have been due to the afters Rooney dished out. In a normal world it might have been a yellow as from certain angles it looks like Rooney is just trying to get his footing, but from the referee’s point of view it looks like Rooney has his eyes on Ricardo Carvalho’s testicles and is attempting to crush them so deserved a red.
Yes Ashley, he stamped on his testicles. You know those droopy things between the legs that you don't own
Should Ronaldo have gone barrelling in? No, and until players realise that surrounding the referee isn’t going to change their minds this is always going to happen. In fact the ref should have booked him regardless for what may or may not have been said, and also started booking any players who flash imaginary cards around or demand stricter penalties for fouls. The refs are in charge of the game and their word (even if it is wrong) is final, so it’s about time they started acting like it. So the push. Well if the ref was undecided before about the stamp, then Rooney’s petulant girly push on Ronaldo made up his mind and yet again we have the most prodigious talent to come out of British football seeing the red mist (away vs. Villareal, away vs. Spain, away vs. Northern Ireland offer further proof) and not being able to control his temper. Would have hurt Wayne to tell Ronaldo to “fuck off you twat this has fuck all to do with you?” Why has this boy not had anger management counselling, because the longer this problem goes ignored the more and more opposition managers both domestically and abroad will target him. It might be a few choice words in his ear at a corner, or a slight kick when the ball is played up to him but it’s going to happen time and time again unless he sorts his head out. Could Rooney be the next person to do a Duncan Ferguson on the pitch? Maybe…
Los Tigers Rule All
es as I write this the Detroit Tigers still own the best record in baseball and with every time I say that I also back it up with there’s always the next game. However, I think this next month or so is going to test them as they have to run the gauntlet in Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park, plus have plenty more games coming up against the White Sox who have been breathing down their necks all season long. That the Tigers are as good as they are despite still being just two and half seasons removed from their attempt to set the all time record for losses in the season is a miracle in itself. Gaffer Jim Leyland has provided the ‘hairdryer’ treatment Alan Trammell didn’t give enough of, the pitching has been bolstered by the experienced Kenny Rogers plus their two rookies, Joel Zumaya and Justin Verlander are taking to the mound and launching 100mph plus fireballs at opposing pitchers. The only shaky part of the game comes with the bats but they have been giving enough run support to allow Detroit to reach 56 wins so far. Now we just have to wait for the inevitable collapse.