The Detroit Lions 2005 Season Preview - by Liam R
It’s September so it must be time to strap on the pads, inject the steroids and put the Whizzinators away as it’s clobbering time. Yes, the NFL season is back and I can hear my dozen or so English readers frantically reaching for their mice to click the Back button, leaving the two or three American ones left so I welcome you all to the article. I’d like to make one thing perfectly cleat before we go on: when I refer to football in this article I mean the NFL version. Every other time I say football (unless preceded by the word ‘American’) I mean the proper version (i.e. soccer). Got it? Good.
So we come back to my beloved Lions, who I’ve probably supported longer than I have Man United and they’re right back where they started last year: tons of potential. In fact as we will come to see, the Lions are pretty well set-up to improve on their solitary playoff win since 1957 (and that came in 1991 against the Dallas Cowboys) but then again this IS the Lions we are talking about. So let’s start with the players in shall we?
Players In: Draft
Shaun Cody – Defensive Tackle (2nd Round – USC)
Stanley Wilson – Corner Back (3rd Round – Stanford)
Dan Orlovsky – Quarterback (5th Round – Connecticut )
Bill Swancutt – Defensive End (6th Round – Oregon State).
I have no idea who any of these players are, but I’m sure they’ll be good. Oh we got one of other guy as well, but first a little quiz. You are Matt Millen and you have the 10 th overall pick in the draft. In the last three years you have picked a quarterback (3rd overall), wide receiver (2nd overall), wide receiver (7th overall) and running back (31st overall). Do you:
a)Draft a corner back to add speed and youth to the defensive back field?
b)Draft a playmaking linebacker to add to the young and talented linebackers you already have?
c)Draft a wide receiver in a bid to win every single game by 42-38 in a bastardised attempt to become this years version of the St. Louis Rams or Kansas City Chiefs?
If you picked a) or b), you are sensible person with a rational brain who is not prone to acts of bone-headed insanity. If you answered c) you are a lunatic and could be the General Manager of the Detroit Lions. Seriously Derrick Johnson was still available for drafting (and according to Sports Illustrated’s Peter King, he is going to be a great player so it must be true) and the Lions chose Mike Williams.
A little story about Williams which is tied in with the story of Maurice Clarett. You see a year ago, Clarett wanted to turn pro but due to the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement with it’s players, all college players entering the draft must be three years removed from high school before being eligible for drafting. Clarett was only two years removed and so tried to sue the NFL so he could be drafted (he also dicked about his university Ohio State which led to them being investigated by the NCAA, college sports money-grabbing/governing body) and Mike Williams jumped on the bandwagon and was essentially thrown out of his university USC. The lawsuit failed and Mike Williams was forced to sit on his arse waiting until he was eligible to get drafted.
So rather than taking a player pretty much ready to play, the Lions took someone who has missed an entire year of play. It’s this sort of bollock brained decision making which leads a team to only win one playoff game in nearly 50 years. Williams will be a good player in time, but that time will be at least a year away, if not more. Very, very odd.
Players In: Free Agents
R.W. McQuarters – was Chicago ’s best defensive back last year with a decent punt return. Should push Fernando Bryant and Dre’ Bly for a starting place.
Kenoy Kennedy – hard-hitting safety in the John Lynch mode.
Rick DeMulling – replacing Stockar McDougal on the offensive line. Kept Peyton Manning’s shirt from getting dirty last year (Oh and helping Manning chuck 49 touchdown passes last year)
Marcus Pollard – Tight end signed from the Colts. Scored six touchdowns last year. Another target for Joey Harrington to aim at.
Kevin Johnson – Wide receiver signed to give the Lions at least one veteran set of hands. Will now play quarterback for reasons explained below.
The Lions also signed Jeff Garcia to provide a decent alternative should Harrington fuck up (three Pro Bowl appearances in a seven year career, 18,000 passing yards) and also to (hopefully) spur Harrington out of the comfort zone he has been in for the last three years. But in the Lions last pre-season game, Garcia broke his leg meaning the Lions back-up quarterback is a rookie and the emergency quarterback is a wide receiver. It’s for these reasons that I love the Lions. There not there to entertain, just to bring sporting related misery and pain for the city of Detroit and the state of Michigan . They’re almost like Newcastle United in fact.
The pressure’s on….
Joey Harrington. Starting quarterback, piano playing maestro and also the man that famously took the victorious European Ryder Cup team to bar that was about to close (Joey is cousin to Irish golfer Padraig). He has three top ten wide receivers, a running back that rushed for more yards than anyone else in the final eight games of last season, a decent tight end and a steady offensive line. He’s had the pre-requisite three years to develop, he has the talent and this has to be the year he steps up and realises that he must pass further than four yards on third and seven. Without the pressure from Garcia, there is no-one to fall back on (Orlovsky’s a rookie, Johnson hasn’t taken any snaps of note since college) so it all sits squarely on his shoulders. If Harrington fails, the Lions will fail – if he succeeds, who knows?
The schedule
Week 1 – Green Bay Packers (Ford Field)
Week 2 – Chicago Bears (Soldier Field)
Week 3 – bye
Week 4 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Raymond James Stadium)
Week 5 – Baltimore Ravens (Ford Field)
Week 6 – Carolina Panthers (Ford Field)
Week 7 – Cleveland Browns ( Cleveland Browns Stadium)
Week 8 – Chicago Bears (Ford Field)
Week 9 – Minnesota Vikings (Metrodome)
Week 10 – Arizona Cardinals (Ford Field)
Week 11 – Dallas Cowboys ( Texas Stadium)
Week 12 – Atlanta Falcons (Ford Field – Thanksgiving)
Week 13 – Minnesota Vikings (Ford Field)
Week 14 – Green Bay Packers (Lambeau Field)
Week 15 – Cincinnati Bengals (Ford Field)
Week 16 – New Orleans Saints (away - venue tbc)
Week 17 – Pittsburgh Steelers (Heinz Field)
The denouement
Two wins against the Pack and the Bears kicks off a nice start to the season (2-0), as does the knocking off of Man United’s American version (3-0) before the Ravens come in and smash the Lions to bits with their smothering defense (3-1). The Panthers are probably Superbowl bound and during their scouting of the stadium they forget to win (4-1). The Browns have been mis-managed that even Romeo Crennel can’t sort out the mess (5-1).
The Bears again prove to be easy pickings before it all goes Pete Tong(6-1). The Vikings dominate in the Dome (6-2), before the Kurt Warner throws for 350 yards and 5 touchdowns at Ford Field (6-3). Julius Jones attempts to set the single game rushing record but comes up short as the Cowboys win (6-4). The Lions are still tired from their trip to Dallas so Ron Mexico and his travelling circus of dirty birds whoop Lion ass on Thanksgiving(6-5).
The Lions have had extra rest before the visit of the Vikings to Ford Field, so much rest that Harrington forgets who he’s playing for and throws six interceptions in the first half (6-6). The Lions freeze their nuts off at Lambeau in front of a nationwide but win because Brett Favre is just too damn old and catches hypothermia on the way to the stadium (7-6). The Bengals momentarily transform into the Bungles for a game and Joey Harrington rushes for 100 yards (8-6). I am not commenting on the Saints due to recent events but they will win anyway (8-7) giving the Lions a make or break game against The Steel Curtain for a winning record. They blow it. (8-8) but due to the shitty nature of the NFC they win through to the playoffs where they get blown out by the Rams. Just kidding. The Lions need to improve and with the weapons they have this is the year they need to get it going. Can they do it? We shall see but in the meantime, enjoy the season.