Joey Sarajevo Has Nothing To Write About

Yeah, it’s a pretty short column this fortnight – the clue’s kinda in the title – and in any case, with the latest fabulous issue of The Hit Parade under my belt – and our super-duper Reading Festival coverage to complete for next time ‘round, I’m a teensy little bit pushed for time. So, this one’s more of a general heads-up until I can actually find some material worthy of my attention…

I mean, I could waffle on about the devastation wrought by Hurricane Katrina and how it proves that Bush is a moron, America is a fundamentally racist society and that unbridled laissez-faire capitalism fucks over the poor something chronic, but:

None of you care, and
If you needed a hurricane flattening two states and obliterating cities the size of Bristol to realise any of that, you’re way more of a dumbass than George Dubya

So that’s subject number one for the majority of op-ed writers this week out, for a start.

Likewise, I could comment on the abject failure of the England football team to beat Northern Ireland like a gong on Wednesday night, only:

I’m still pissed off (about agreeing with Ian Wright as much as anything) and don’t want to discuss it.
I was at the Wales game and should have seen it coming; we were shit.
We might – might – still win the cricket, which I’ve come to enjoy more now that I’m practically a pensioner, and which will more than make up for it.

I felt the article could do with brightening up. Joey has nothing to do with this. End of caption.

Which doesn’t leave me with much else to do, except bring the following to your attention:

My dislike for organised religion being well known, I take great delight in directing you towards Fundies Say the Darndest Things, now back on line in a snazzy automated format. Hours of fun for anyone suckered in like me by the evil forces of Darwin the Antichrist and his Godless conspiracy of Sodomites and Communists.

After years of trying, I finally thought I’d found some lesbians who actually like me; unfortunately, the link appears to be one to ‘Fundle.co.uk’ (whatever that is) and a load of links to Bible Verses saying just how bad them screaming Satanic benders are. A shiny apple to anyone who can tell me how my old DeadBrain article ended up linked to it.